From teaching English to teaching about kindness…

           

I have learned that there is a time in the life of an ESL teacher living in South Korea, where one is tempted to think that the sparkle and novelty of living in a foreign country will never lose its charm. When the charm did fade, I learned that I had to make a serious effort to sabotage any perception that teaching English had become a humdrum cycle or had taken on a mundane candor. I refuse to classify these sentiments as fact. Something that is a fact is the positive effect I can have on my students. One of the greatest reminders that I am doing something important, even if being an expat does not contribute to this sentiment anymore, is making a difference in the lives of my middle school students. There is a humorous saying in South Korea that the reason that North Korea’s army has not attacked is because they are afraid of the notoriously difficult to manage middle school students. Remaining positive has often been a struggle.

But there is an encouraging quality in God’s ability to surprise you and banish the idea that what you are doing is humdrum and mundane. I do not want to give lip service to the idea that I love all my students. I want to love them all. Of course, there are some who are easier to love than others. After living overseas for almost 2 and half years at a time, the charm and positive aspects of living here gets some serious competition with my desire to return to, or at least visit the USA. But even in the face of such fierce competition between living in Korea and visiting America, the positive changes in my student’s lives are a serious draw, and my desire to show them the love of God is sometimes a challenge. A lot of good experiences were not based on the fact that I was in a foreign country, but in the fact that lives were changed for the better. And my having a hand in that is gratifying. I am reminded of a 2nd grade student (7th grade in America) whom I will call Sophie. I was her English teacher for 3 semesters, and I can’t say I ever saw a smile from her. Distain, frustration, boredom, disgust, inhibition and apathy are some accurate adjectives that I could use to describe her actions and facial expressions while she was in my class. She was a smart student, and although lacking in motivation to learn English, she tried to challenge my knowledge of English several times. Just last semester, I found out that she would be my student for a 3rd semester in a row, and I thought, how unfortunate can I be? She made no effort to hide her annoyance at being in my class a third time. Well, her disgust at this development was very obvious, and for a while I despaired of a way to reach her. 

Yes, I wanted her to learn English, but more importantly, I wanted to impact her in a positive and lasting way. While I am an English teacher, I am first a classroom manager and a student motivator. If I can manage and motivate, then I have a good chance of not only teaching English, but in reaching my students on a deeper and hopefully a more spiritual level. Then, one day, my chance with Sophie came in an unexpected way. A class rule is that students cannot speak any Korean.

I have lots of scratch paper, and students are free to write in Korean if they want, but speaking must be in English. Well, Sophie and her friend asked for scratch paper. Another less vocal rule is that students need to put their trash in the trash can. Throughout the class, I noticed that Sophie was discreetly drawing something on the piece of paper. When Sophie left, I could see that the piece of paper was gone. After the students had left, I looked in the desk that Sophie and many other students used, and I could see some trash there.

I pulled it out, and discovered that is was the scratch paper Sophie had written on, shredded into tiny pieces of paper. Well, I was so curious that later, I painstakingly put the tiny pieces together with tape. On one side in Sophie’s handwriting and with her name written on it, was a very unflattering picture of me along with some expletives. While I was not really offended or pleased with what I have pieced together, I realized that this was a way to reach her. So I took a picture of it on my phone. Then I copied the scratch paper I had pieced together and I cut it to the same size and shape as the scratch paper. I then put it in her homeroom locker and kept the matter to myself until the end of the semester. The next class period, Sophie’s behavior was different. She could not know for certain that I had put it there, but she was not rude, just very reserved and almost robotic. From time to time she made nervous glances in my direction. For all she knew, I could send the picture to her parent’s phone, her homeroom teacher’s phone or report it to the principle. For that semester, I did not give any indication that I was the person who had put the paper in her locker.

On the last day, I called her aside after the other students had left. When I showed her the paper, she denied that she had written it. However, when I pointed to her handwriting and her name on the paper, it ended any verbal defense. I then told her that I could send the picture on my phone to her parents, her homeroom teacher or the principle. I could see that she seemed to be at the end of her rope. She did not dare to be rude or cynical now and she expected me to turn her in, so to speak. So then, I went to the trash can and brought it over, along with a pair of scissors. At this, Sophie looked very confused.

I handed her the scissors and the scratch paper and told her to cut it up into the trash can. With wide eyes, she cut up the scratch paper, her expression showing she could hardly believe what was happening. Then I handed her my phone and asked her to delete the picture of the scratch paper. When she did, there was a hope in her eyes I had never seen before. Then she handed my phone back to me and I told her that no one would know what she had done. I also told that I was her English teacher, but now, I was teaching her about kindness. Then she gave me a beautiful genuine smile. At that point, I knew that I had won her over…with kindness. It is experiences like this one that brighten up my day. It is the joy of making a positive impact in the lives of people like Sophie, which make up for the feelings homesickness I sometimes feel. Why do I come back for more? I guess I do not have to answer that question now. When we give people a break at a time when we could break them, like Jesus did with the woman caught in adultery, we grant ourselves the opportunity to change lives for the better, and not just other lives, but our also.